Tantra Sexy and Sacred, sexual secrets for women

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Sexy and Sacred, sexual secrets for women. By Diane Riley Buy Now

‘ A much awaited companion to the international best seller
‘Sexual Secrets for Men, what every woman would want her man to know’.
This book is for women and their lovers who are seeking to integrate the
sacred and the erotic aspects of their sexuality.’

‘Truly a gift for women Sexy and Sacred has been written with love and integrity
to reveal and nurture the sacred sexiness that resides within each woman,
so she can access more power grace, love and sexual pleasure.

Buy now Endorsements Index contents

Book  Preface Vaginal Wellbeing

ch 1 Secrets your mother never told youCh 4 Your well of sexual magicCh 12 treating himch 13 Oral delightsCh 16 A Night in Aphrodite's Temple


Diane Riley is one of the most positive and knowledgeable voices on sacred female sexuality writing and teaching today. In her book, Sexy and Sacred, she provides not only a wealth of information to help women of all ages embrace and enhance their sexual selves, but very practical advice too. A lot of people ask me how to have great sex. Now I can tell women if they want to discover and delight in their pleasure potential, listen to Diane Riley’s sage words in this book!’ DR Gabrielle Morrissey

‘This book will inspire you to ignite, enlighten, and enhance your inner world through the power of sacred love’.
Deva Premal – Pabu music

‘Most of the texts on tantra and taoist  sexology focus on what the man can do for sexual and spiritual enlightenment not the women!  So it is refreshing to ?nally have a book on sacred sex for women, what a woman can do to enhance her sexual aliveness and pleasure and connect to her spirit.’ Ellen Ramsdale—Co author Sexual Energy Ecstasy

For many years Diane Riley has been teaching women how to fully experience the beauty, magic and sacredness of sex. She has now written her teachings down, with love and integrity. This book will be a gift to all her readers, and anyone they share the knowledge with – their friends, their daughters, and their lovers.’ Jane Manning, Director

‘Sexy and sacred offers a unique insight into the world of sexuality and spirituality and how these two worlds can be woven into our lives. This book is a perfect companion book for women to ‘Sexual Secrets for Men’. Highly recommended for anyone who wishes to deepen their path into spirit and sex.’ - Lawrence Ellyard, author of The Spirit of Water. Back to top

Preface to Sexy and Sacred…

‘This book is not about theory. Held within the pages are secrets and practices that will work for you.
I have no doubt about this because the secrets I share in this book are evolved from my professional and personal research derived from practices that I have studied and developed through actual experience and candid feedback from thousands of people of various backgrounds at our workshops and consultations.

I am indebted to so many people who have talked honestly to me about this most intimate part of their lives, and have shared how these practices and skills have deepened their experience and pleasure of sexuality. These practices have helped sustain love and sexual passion in my life, as well as nurture love in my relationship by constantly supplying a fresh source of energy.

There are many books on sacred sex, outlining practices, some of which are also covered in this book.
However, the difference in Sexy and Sacred, sexual secrets for women,  is that the emphasis is on sacred sexual secrets and practices for women; practices that women can do to open themselves to deeper pleasure and fulfillment, bringing greater passion and creativity into their relationships and all aspects of their lives.

Today, many women sense that their sexual expression and enjoyment is more powerful than they, or their partners, may be prepared to acknowledge or know how to evoke or explore. Perhaps we are hesitant to do so because we are not quite sure where this will take us. Some women have connected with the sacred sexual feminine in a way that connects with transformative experiences and others glimpse or long for such expression in their own lives.

Modern culture has inadequate understanding that sexuality and the sacred can fit so closely together and when these two traditionally opposing aspects of our lives are united, not separated from each other, our experience of sex, love and life expand producing the potential for greater personal wellness, sexual pleasure and societal harmony.

Fundamental to achieving this wellness, pleasure and harmony is honouring our erotic sexual selves.
I call this our ‘sacred sexiness — a term I use throughout the book, by which I mean the sensual feminine self, authentic sexuality, inner feminine sexiness, erotic goddess … and more. We don’t have the language yet to fully express this idea or the experience of an authentic, deeply feminine, strong and highly sexual woman for whom sex is also aligned with her spirit. For other readers of this book, the term may simply represent the playful, sexual side of themselves that they reserve for special occasions, one which has nothing to do with the spiritual but offers a sense of empowered expression out of the ordinary.’ back to top

Buy Now


Hi Diane,

I am loving your book –  has changed my life
CHARGED my life

With the energy I’ve been unable to connect with my whole 25 years of adulthood – thank you!
Claire   28/11/09

Congratulations – I’m loving your book!!! Sharon 25/1/10

I’ve found out what my Shakti is !!!    Nicole  10/3/10

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Index- contents



Part 1: Awakening your Sacred Sexiness

Chapter 1: Sexual Secrets Your Mother Never Told You 1

Chapter 2: The Erotic Goddess 13

Chapter 3: Naked and Sacred 24

Chapter 4: The Pelvic Bowl—Your Well of Sexual Magic 33

Chapter 5: Vagina Wellbeing 49

Chapter 6: Pleasure for Pleasure’s Sake 63

Chapter 7: Love Muscles 77

Chapter 8: Heartfelt Lovemaking 88

Chapter 9: Tantra for Women 103

Part 2: Practices for the Adventurous

Chapter 10: Sweeter, Longer Orgasms 128

Chapter 11: Teaching Him…How to Get More of the Loving you Want! 150

Chapter 12: Treating Him…What to Do for Your Man 167

Chapter 13: Oral Delights…Initiating him into New Experiences 187

Chapter 14: Practices for the Adventurous 199

Chapter 15: Differences in Desire 210

Chapter 16: A Night in Aphrodite’s Temple 232

Endnotes 247

Bibliography 249

Resources 252

Index 258

Extract from chapter 6 Vaginal Wellbeing

Inanna leaned back on the apple tree,

As she leaned against the apple tree,

Her vulva was wondrous to behold,

Rejoicing at her wondrous vulva,

The young woman applauded herself.

Your sexuality is not purely physical, it is a body–mind–spirit

connection. Attitudes and beliefs about your genitals interact

directly with your physical receptivity and ability to create and

enjoy sexual pleasure. Part of developing your sensitivity and an awareness

of your whole body includes giving loving attention to your most sacred

part, your vagina.

A sense of awe and delight is reflected in the ancient Sumerian

inscription above. (The Sumerians are said to be the earliest culture to

have had writing.) Translated from the Songs of Inanna, this extract portrays

a sense of wonder about the female vulva. As ‘Queen of Heaven and Earth’

Inanna honoured her genitals as a sacred place.

Imagine what a great connection you would have with your sexuality

if a woman like Inanna were your mother. You would have had a very

different conditioning around sexuality. She would have passed on to

you her delight and appreciation of the body’s sexuality, the gift of sexual

playfulness enhancing the ability to enjoy pleasure.

Inanna — a predecessor of Aphrodite from around 3,000 BC — whom

we met in Chapter 2 — was worshipped as the source of all life. She

manifested her creative power in all living things in the cycles of life, death

and rebirth. She was a protectress and giver of wisdom, encompassing all

the divine qualities, which included the fullness of feminine sexuality.

Inanna, like Aphrodite, belongs to the group of ancient goddesses from

early civilizations who embody sacred sexual passion and desire. These early

civilizations were the cradle of Western culture and there was no separation

between the divine and the expression of sexuality. Sexuality was, for them, an

integral part of life; a divine gift. Sensuality and desire were honoured just as

the coming of Spring and the regeneration accompanying it were celebrated.

The female body, including the ‘vagina’, was held in the utmost regard.

What’s in a name?

In ancient India, the word yoni (I like to pronounce it ‘yonn-ee’, however

it is also commonly pronounced as ‘yo-nee’, rhyming with pony) was

acknowledged as the gateway through which we were all born. It comes

from early Vedic Tantric writings and means ‘sacred place, precious garden,

field of pleasure, gateway’. Therefore in lovemaking, the yoni was revered

as a place where a man could enter ‘a field of heaven’.

The term ‘vagina’ came from the Latin, meaning, ‘sheath for the sword’.

My thought when I hear ‘vagina’, is that it is an anatomical and medical

expression (I will take my ‘vagina’ to the gynaecologist) but when I hear

‘yoni’ I think of it as part of a sensual woman! By renaming our sacred parts

we can bring a magical and transformative quality to lovemaking again.

How much more preferable is the use of the word yoni to another — far

Vagina Wellbeing


less poetic and often derogatory term — such as ‘cunt’? ‘Cunt’ for example

is commonly used to describe someone you fervently detest or it is used as

the most injurious of insults. It is fascinating to understand the derivations

of its meaning (though we won’t dwell on this here) but, interestingly, the

early usage of ‘cunt’ came from the early Norse word ‘kunna’ meaning ‘to

know’, and from Middle English ‘cunte’ meaning country.

Perhaps you would like to borrow some of the following names of love

and beauty for your own genitalia:

Vagina: yoni, lotus flower, bell, cup, flower, jade cavern, field of heaven, pleasure

palace, hidden valley, cunny, honey pot, rosetta.

Labia major: strings of the lyre, angel wings, curls of pleasure.

Labia minor: inner wings, petals.

Clitoris: jewel, precious pearl, rosebud.

If you have an open-minded, fun partner, introduce your sacred parts to

him by their names. Your partner loves your yoni; it gives him great pleasure

so he will want to call it by loving names. Other names, to mention a few

favourites, are:

Vagina: pink bits, fan, fanny, puss, pussy.

Labia: lips, lippies.

Clitoris: clit, clitty, love bud, berry, lotus bud.

I’m sure you have your own favourites, and with some loving inspiration,

can invent or adopt other names for referring to the different parts of

your genital anatomy. With imagination you can develop a language that is

affirmative of your wondrous luscious parts!!

Early symbols

Today, in many parts of the world, we can still find the ruins of temples

where the goddesses of love and sensuality were honoured. In many ancient

cultures, from Palaeolithic cave paintings to the art of ancient Cyprus and

India, an inverted triangle — the visual shape of a woman’s pubis — was

depicted as a symbol for the divine feminine, for nature and fertility. No

differentiation existed between the vulva, the sacred, the feminine, life

energy, fertility and sexuality.

Sexy and Sacred


The Ggantija Temples in Malta (known to be the earliest free-standing

stone monuments in the world, much earlier than the pyramids of Egypt

or Stonehenge and about 5,800 years old) include more than 30 temples

with the floor plan in the shape of the goddess. They were dedicated to the

Great Earth Mother, the goddess of fertility. The raised threshold can be

read as the vulva, the entrance to her body. To enter the temples, devotees

walk between the colossal legs of the stone goddess.

In classical Tantra from India, the Kali yantra — a ritual diagram of an

inverted triangle — is used as a focus during meditation.

In southern India, temples were built for yoni worship and some still

exist today. Recently, Jonn Mumford (Anandakapila), author and teacher of

traditional Tantra, took a group of students to India and was given special

permission to visit some temples. He reported traditional Tantra teachings

still to be alive and flourishing. What a positive relationship you could

have with your yoni if these temples of the goddess of love and sensuality

existed today in your city, your neighbourhood.

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